Music

While My Depression Gently Weeps – Part 1 of The Music My Savior Chronicles

I gave up smoking in 2010. My last cigarette was at Thessaloniki Airport, Greece in August, 2010. I had the last drag, coughed and gagged like I was choking and said with determination that I quit.

I haven’t had a smoke since then. You see back in November 2008, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. For a 32 year old, this came as a big surprise. When I went into the doctors surgery complaining of migraines, my blood pressure was 170/120. This was on a Tuesday and the doctor said to come back on a Friday to see if it was just an off-spike. So what did I do after hearing this news.

I started drinking straight whiskey, three shots a day, believing that whiskey will ease the pressure readings. I walk into the Doctor’s office on Friday and proceed to sit down while the doctor puts the arm band on, presses start on the machine and I am confident that all will be well.

210/130. The Doctor’s eyes popped out of his head. He wrote referreals for echograms, cardio tests and blood tests for blockages, along with scripts for blood pressure meds. He asked me if I was a smoker and I said yes. He said to me to STOP immediately if I want to watch my kids grow up. He asked me to lose weight and to start taking the medication and to come back on Monday morning.

So of course, I started taking the medication however I didn’t stop smoking. On Monday, my blood pressure was at 150/110. Another type of tablet was added to my dose that involved two tablets in the morning and one at night. I went back on Friday and it was all better. 140/90.

I was still smoking and every month when I went for a check up the blood pressure was still up but “controlled” in my own twisted way. I was spending $90 on Blood Pressure medication a month, along with a $200 smoking habit. The good deeds of the medication was getting undone by the smoking habit.

It wasn’t until 2010 that I started coughing and gagging every time I had a smoke and eventually that year I stopped smoking. Apart from the blood pressure problem, I was in between houses, selling one house and building another house, while the Global Financial Crisis was happening all around me. On top of that, one of my boys was hospitalised on two occasions for urinary tract infections and had to undergo two procedures. I swear I couldn’t see the light at the end of this journey. To top it all off the band I created was splintering and I had so much money invested in it, I couldn’t walk away from it without the guys paying me back. So during this period 2008 to 2010, I started listening to music with sad and depressing lyrics.

Breaking Benjamin entered my life around this time. The “Phobia” and “Dear Agony” albums got played constantly.

Machine Head’s “Descend The Shades Of Night”, “Goodbye To Romance” from the Blizzard Of Ozz band (yep, every time I refer to the Randy Rhoads era it will be via the name Blizzard Of Ozz) and Megadeth’s “A Tout Le Monde” came back in my life.

And as depressing as some of the songs are they helped me through my own depressive period.

The reason why I started thinking about smoking is because I was at a party on the weekend and everyone smoked, making it very difficult to interact with the people.

20. Give Me A Sign

It is from the album “Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin released in 2009. On YouTube it has 7,088,460 views and on Spotify it has 1,229,610 plays. The song is a superstar in the modern metal and rock circles.

Daylight dies
Blackout the sky
Does anyone care?
Is anybody there?
Take this life
Empty inside
I’m already dead
I’ll rise to fall again

Benjamin Burnley sings the above over a slow haunting riff about losing his way and screaming for help, looking for the sign. My advice to myself from listening to this song is that “when it comes to the end, you have to let go”.

19. Break Away

It is from the album “The Illusion Of Progress” by Staind released in 2008. One YouTube channel has the song up to stream and it has been viewed 382,520 times.

Like a wheel
That keeps turning
If I could break away
From this moment
Break away
What is real
Break away
Never showing
Break away
How I feel
If I could break away

Apathy
The ignorance it brings
The tragedy
Of all these things
We keep repeating

I felt like the song was about me when I heard it in 2008. It is about repeating the same actions everyday, looking for a change and not having the guts to make it happen, believing that some deity in the sky will do it all for me.

My advice to myself from listening to this song is that it was time to make the change and break away. By the end of 2010, the band was over (at a large financial loss to me), the house was finished and I had quit smoking. I made the change/s.

18. What A Shame

It is from the album “The Sound Of Madness” by Shinedown released in 2008. On YouTube, 4 channels have it up with a combined view count over 2.5 million.

Two packs of cigarettes a day
The strongest whiskey
Kentucky can make
That’s a recipe to put a vagabond
On his hands and knees

When I heard the opening verse, I said to myself, damn, that is me. That is exactly what I am doing. Brent Smith nails the emotion in this song. It is about his uncle and a beautiful song. So many of us are judged from everyone around us. It is wrong. Even I do it. Sometimes we all need some help and what we get is criticism instead.

My advice to myself from listening to this song is the chorus line; “What a shame, to judge a life that you can’t change.”

17. Broken Bones

“The Rev Theory” is a very underrated hard rock band. “Broken Bones” is from their 2008 release “Light Me Up.”

Caught in the confines of the simple life
And I am
Holding my head high in the rising tide
And I can’t win
And I can’t fight
I keep holding on too tight
Running away from the world outside

It’s the denial principle within us all. We run away from the problems we are facing by putting on a smile when all we want to do is cry. And when we have problems, the person that we need the most isn’t there to help or is there and doesn’t understand what the hell is going on, which is a shame.

I’m not coming home now
I know
I’m so far away
So far from home
I’m not coming home now
I know
I’m so far away
I’m so far away

This part is emotional. I know that the song is about a band member that they lost along the way, however when i was in hospital with a shattered foot waiting surgery to reconstruct it, this song got me through the days. Coming into 2010, I was in a dark place that I didn’t think I would survive to see the end of the year. “Broken Bones” helped me through it.

My advice to myself from listening to this song is that I needed to get back home and realise that everything that loves me and everything that I love is right in front of me. Like the Three Doors Down song “Heaven” released in 2011 on the “Time Of My Life” album, “I didn’t have to let myself get so far gone, I didn’t have to make the ones I love feel so alone, I didn’t have to die to go to heaven, i Just had to go home.”

16. Let Me Be Myself

Three Doors Down nailed what I was feeling in this song. It was released in 2008, on their self-titled debut. To me it is all about doing what society and my family wants me to do, instead of doing what I want to do. You only get one chance at life, so why waste it living someone else’s life.

I guess I just got lost
Being someone else.
I tried to kill the pain,
But nothing ever helped.
I left myself behind,
Somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around
To find myself someday

Life has its highs and lows, however I made the choices that got me in these situations. So when I made the choice to get married, the part of the word “me”, I should have left behind and focused on the word “we”. However for years, I focused on the ME and the I. Even after I had kids. Listening to this song when it came out, I said to myself, damn, this song nails my feelings.

Then listening to it at the end of 2010, my view was different. When the lyric states “I guess I just got lost being someone else”, I saw that as me being lost on how to be a dad, thinking I had to do things in a certain way because hey, everyone is a judge in life.

15. Alias

Released in 2009 by In Flames on the “A Sense Of Purpose” album.

Don’t tell me,
Tell my ghost,
Cause I blame him
For all I don’t want to know

In Flames are a great band. I love this song and the title and the Freudian lyrics.

We all keep the real part of us hidden. That is why we are able to adapt to different situations. The ghost is the face that the people all see. It is the mask that we all wear to keep ourselves protected from the truth.

Life’s wrapped in a riddle,
Easier said than done,
Hate to play the victim,
Rather run and hide.

It was time that I acknowledged that I was in fact my own victim. Only I could make the decision to change.

14. Wake Up

Story Of The Year are very underrated in the metal community. From the outset the band got labelled as Emo. However, to me I always saw them as a metal band. It took an album about “The Black Swan Theory”, released in 2008 that got my hooked.

So what is “The Black Swan Theory”. It is a metaphor that describes an event that comes as a surprise, has a major effect, and is often inappropriately rationalized after the fact with the benefit of hindsight;

Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it’s deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone
Until it’s gone

With all the chaos in my life at that point in time, this song made me feel alive, calm and confident. It was like it understood me. The message was simple. Wake Up.

13. That Was Just Your Life

Call it the “Enter Sandman” riff backwards. Call the harmony guitars at about the 5.50 minute mark Thin Lizzy rip offs. Call it that they plagiarised “Jump In The Fire”. Call it a great song, to open up the “Death Magnetic”.

“Like a release from a prison that i didn’t know i was in”

What a brilliant lyric. That is what music is on the days where the blues kick in. A release from the prison we are in.

“I blind my eyes and try and force it all into place,
I stitch them up, see not my fall from grace.
I blind my eyes, I hide and feel it passing me by
I open just in time to say goodbye.”

Denial and acceptance of what I believe the version of the truth is. You can easily combine verses from so many different songs and come up with a new Buddhist mantra that is a hundred pages long.

12. The Forgotten

The last album of the Howard Jones Killswitch Engage era released in 2009 and what an album it is.

What have you given up will never return again
Now you’re dead inside I hope it was worth the cost

This is like looking in the mirror at your own reflection and asking yourself “was it worth it”. Sometimes it is better to be the forgotten.

11. The Unforgiven III

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course

A welcome return from Metallica. By 2009, I thought I was doing what I wanted to do and that I was going out to be the best that I could be in my own way, however, I started to see that I was getting side-tracked, following paths that I never should have walked on. By the end of 2009, I was frustrated and I got even more frustrated when I realised that the position I was in, was all of my doing. There was no one to blame except me.

These days drift on inside a fog
It’s thick and suffocating
This seeking life outside its hell
Inside intoxicating

Alcohol and tobacco. It’s easy to numb the feelings when you are intoxicated. The funny thing is that even the songs mentioned deal with dark subject matters, I saw a sense of hope in them and when Robb Flynn screamed “Music My Savior – Save Me” in “Darkness Within” two years later, I knew exactly what he meant.

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Randy Rhoads, Bob Daisley and the Blizzard Of Ozz

To me, Randy Rhoads was a huge influence. My first introduction to Randy Rhoads was the “Tribute” album and the tablature book that came with it formed my bible for a long time.

He was just unique. Rhoads formed Quiet Riot when he was 16 years old however as good as Randy Rhoads was, the band couldn’t get a record deal in the U.S and they ended up releasing two albums (QR I and QR II) in Japan. Of course this incarnation of Quiet Riot was a totally different line up that sang “Cum On Feel The Noize” which in turn brought metal to the mainstream.

Most people know his musical legacy from the two landmark albums he made with Ozzy Osbourne.

While Quiet Riot focused on a more pop rock vibe, Rhoads was allowed free reign to draw on all his interests with Ozzy. It should be noted that Bob Daisley played a very important part in this project as well as the lyrical writer and musical contributor.

The two years he spent in Rainbow before joining the Blizzard of Ozz project put him in good stead to continue the style of music that Ritchie Blackmore was creating.

Listen to the style of music on the first three Rainbow albums and then listen to the first two Ozzy albums and you will hear that the styles are very similar. The song structures are very similar. The biggest difference is the LA flash of Randy Rhoads.

Randy Rhoads with Bob Daisley as his bass player and songwriter equals superstar.

Tragically, Rhoads died far too young in a plane crash on March 19, 1982 while on tour with Osbourne.

10
I Don’t Know
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

This riff would be the first thing that people heard who went and purchased the “Blizzard of Ozz” album without hearing a single note.

What an introduction riff it is. It is a simply ascending pedal point riff however it so effective because of Bob Daisley’s staccato bassline which he synchronized with Lee Kerslake’s bass drum. Back in the day it sounded so original.

This is Randy Rhoads announcing to the world that there is a new guitar hero in town.

This is what Bob Daisley said in an interview with the website Undercover (that was reposted on Blabbermouth).
“I got inspired for that when OZZY told me a story about BLACK SABBATH. Because they were considered to be an occult band and into all sorts of things, it was a reputation they had, people used to ask OZZY, “Tell my fortune” and I just wrote a simple song saying, “Don’t ask me, I don’t know. I’m just a singer”.

9
Suicide Solution
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

The whole intro riff is just full of attitude and defiance. And guess what, it is only three chords. If you are familiar with the work that Randy Rhoads did with Quiet Riot, you would have noticed the influence of the song “Force of Habit”.

While most of Rhoads earlier material with Quiet Riot was less adventurous, it did allow him to be a songwriter and a riff creator and he used derivative versions of his earlier riffs in his later work with the Blizzard Of Ozz band that was changed at the last minute to Ozzy Osbourne. This is one such song.

This is what Bob Daisley said in an interview with the website Undercover (that was reposted on Blabbermouth);

“I wrote that song about OZZY drinking himself into an early grave. He was pretty disturbed that he was thrown out of BLACK SABBATH and he described it as like going through a divorce. He was drinking heavily because of it and getting stoned and wasn’t very productive which is why he got thrown out of BLACK SABBATH in the first place. The word solution had a double meaning, meaning solution to a problem or liquid solution meaning booze. OZZY did come up with one line in that song “wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker”.”

This is what Bob Daisley had to say on the song in an interview with the Classic Rock Revisited website when the interviewer mentioned to Daisley that Ozzy has mentioned in interviews that Ozzy wrote the song about Bon Scott;

“That is bull5h!t. I knew Bon Scott and so did Ozzy and we did find out about Bon Scott’s death during the recording of that album but I wrote “Suicide Solution.” I wrote the freaking words so he can say all he likes about who I wrote it about but I wrote it about him killing himself with alcohol. It was a warning song. It is stupid to drink yourself into the ground. It is not a solution to a problem as it is really just hiding. Solution also has a double meaning in that it is a liquid like alcohol. I wrote about Ozzy just drinking too much at the time. We all liked to drink but he was really getting into it sometimes.”

8
You Looking At Me, Looking At You
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

This song doesn’t get the attention it deserves because it was left off the album. Plus it was written for an album that had so many other songs that are just great. However if this song appeared on any other bands album it would have been a hit as well.

The intro is Seventies Arena Melodic Rock. I can understand why the song didn’t get included on the album as it could have been deemed to poppy from the very metal sounding Blizzard album, however the riff is infectious.

Even in the pre chorus Randy Rhoads plays palm muted arpeggios (like Eddie Van Halen) and something that Vito Bratta employed on a constant basis. And that lead break just comes out of nowhere like another song within the same song composition. Again it reminds me of what Vito Bratta would end up doing.

This song shows what a band “Blizzard Of Ozz” was. Yes, that band had Randy Rhoads on guitar, Bob Daisley on bass, Lee Kerslake on drums and Ozzy Osbourne on vocals.

An argument can be put forward as to why “No Bone Movies” made it on the album and not this song.

By the way, if anyone is familiar with the work that Randy Rhoads did with Quiet Riot, they would have noticed the rhythm guitar riff coming from a Quiet Riot song called “Kiss of Death”, that was only performed live, and the lead intro part is from the Quiet Riot song called “Trouble.” Also, the same structure can be heard on the song “Breaking Up Is A Heartache” also from Quiet Riot.

7
Steal Away The Night
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

That intro is similar to the chorus riff in “Suicide Solution” at a higher tempo. Whereas in “Suicide Solution” it is a climbing motif, in “Steal Away The Night” it is a repeating motif.

There is also another nod to the Quiet Riot song “Breaking Up Is A Heartache” in the riff that comes after the chorus.

Remember that progress is derivative and Randy Rhoads was very good at that technique. Sometimes he would take bits and pieces from a lot of different songs to form one cohesive riff.

6
Mr Crowley
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

The “was it polemically sent” part before the outro solo is just goose bumps stuff. The harmony guitar lines that interweave over a classical chord progression. The calm before the storm. From a lead guitarist point of view, Mr Crowley served as a showcase of the talent that is Randy Rhoads.

This is what Bob Daisley had to say on the song in an interview with the Classic Rock Revisited website;

“Ozzy already had the idea for that but he just had the title. He wanted to write it about Aleister Crowley who was into black magic and witchcraft and all that.”

And from the same interview, we find out how the organ riff came about;

“One of the auditions we had was a keyboard player who had an idea that went something like that. We got that idea and wrote that part for the beginning of “Mr. Crowley.”

When the interviewer asked if that person would sue, Daisley commented back to state that he thinks that they changed it enough to make it a derivative version.

5
Goodbye To Romance
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

This song connects from the very first note but it is that descending chorus riff that is pure gold.

Listening to the studio version of the song with its many layers and then hearing the way Randy composed his live performance is awe inspiring.

Though Rhoads was best known for the heavier side of his guitar playing, his ambition was to devote his time to classical music. “Dee” served as an example of his devotion to classical/flamenco music however it was songs like “Goodbye To Romance”, “Revelation Mother Earth” and “Diary of A Madman” that showcased how powerful classical music is in a heavy metal setting.

“Goodbye To Romance” was Ozzy’s title and it came from an Everly Brothers song called “Bye Bye Love.” The lyrics were written by Bob Daisley and the subject matter was Ozzy’s “divorce” from Black Sabbath. On the “Don’t Blame Me” video, Ozzy does mention that he was humming the vocal melody, and that Randy heard it and developed the chords around the melody. That part is true, as even Randy recounted the same story. However the way Ozzy recounts it makes it sound like that Bob Daisley was not involved at all in the song writing process. It is a well-known fact that history is written by the powerful and the winners. That is what Sharon and Ozzy are trying to do. Rewrite history. Bob Daisley wrote the lyrics and assisted Ozzy with the melodies.

4
Crazy Train
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

After getting blown away by “I Don’t Know”, the ear drums were assaulted once again with “Crazy Train.”

The intro is a sing along riff and immediately identifiable. You can call this song Ozzy’s biggest hit and according to the chart makers it never was a hit.

The verse – Back in the Eighties, this was the first major key progression I heard that sounded heavy. It is perfect for the song, as the verses deal with hope so the major key is perfect and then the chorus deals with the world losing it over nuclear arms and by then it has switched to the minor mode.

This is what Bob Daisley had to say about the song in a Bravewords interview;

“The thing that comes to mind is that Ozzy gets too much credit for it! Randy had the riff and chord structure, I wrote the chord structure for Randy to solo over. Ozzy came up with the vocal melody, and I wrote all the lyrics. Randy and I were both fans of trains and railways. We bought model trains and used to go to railway exhibitions together. Ozzy used to have a saying ‘you’re off the fucking rails’ and Randy had this effects pedal and it was making this sort of psychedelic chugging sound, like a train in his amp. And that’s when I came up with ‘Crazy Train’. With Ozzy’s saying, ‘I’m going off the rails on a crazy train’ came from. The lyrics were a statement of the world we live in or lived in as children, the cold war we lived through.”

This is what Bob Daisley had to say on the song in an interview with the Classic Rock Revisited website;

“What I am most proud of is “Crazy Train.” Randy came up with the riff and Ozzy came up with the vocal melody and I wrote the lyrics and the musical section that Randy soloed over in the middle. It has become a Rock N Roll anthem and I am really proud of that. When I was with Rainbow, one of my Rock N Roll ambitions was to write a hit single or to be involved in writing one with somebody else. In Rainbow, Ritchie and Ronnie wrote everything and they didn’t need anyone else. When Blizzard Of Oz happened it was great because I got to realize one of my ambitions.”

“Crazy Train” is really a peace song about how crazy it is that people are brainwashed and mind controlled by the powers that be over freaking stupid religion and stuff like that. That is why the opening lines, are “Crazy but that’s how it goes/Millions of people living as foes.” We have inherited all the BS from all of the cold wars and all of the crap. The young people inherited it and back then I was still young.”

3
Over The Mountain
From: ‘Diary of a Madman’ (1981)

As the “Blizzard Of Ozz” album kicked off with a pedal point riff, so did the “Diary Of A Madman” album. What a great drum intro by Lee Kerslake. A dead set classic. It has become a real trademark.

This song is the “progress is derivative” model in action. Did anyone pick up on the “Black Sabbath” riff used before the solo break?

The intro/verse riff is a musical mish mash of heavy seventies rock and decorated with Rhoads’ unusual voicing’s.

The bridge is very Rush sounding, which is simple power chords played over a shimmering and ringing of the open E and B strings.

The melody is pop all the way. It is infectious.

2
Revelation (Mother Earth)
From: ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)

“Revelation (Mother Earth)” is a song that needed to be written so that a masterpiece like “Diary Of A Madman” could exist. It is full of great riffs from Rhoads.

The intro/verse riff from 0.00 to 1.24 is just timeless. Hearing this song today and it doesn’t sound dated at all.

Then 03.03 to 3.21 just before the acoustic interlude.

Then from the 5 minute mark to the end is just brilliant. It is a merge of heavy riffing and classical / baroque influenced lead break that twists and turns into each other.

On the “Tribute” live album, the tempo is increased, further increasing the status of the song to legendary.

This is what Bob Daisley had to say on the song in an interview with the Classic Rock Revisited website;

“Some of the words came from the book of Revelations in the bible. I had been in the rehearsal room and I had been playing a song by John Lennon called “Mother.” Ozzy came in when we were doing the backing and he went “Mother” just like the John Lennon song. We started calling it ‘Mother Earth.’ I wrote that about the dangers of us destroying our own planet.”

1
Diary Of A Madman
From: ‘Diary of a Madman’ (1981)

This is progressive metal before the term became associated with bands like Fates Warning, Iron Maiden and Dream Theater. The song was a giant leap forward in composition and technicality. It is dominated by Randy Rhoads from when the first note starts and the last note ends.

The song is a cacophony of dark dissonant chord voicing’s, unusual time signatures, serene acoustic driven interludes, heavy groove orientated rock and metal riffs and dissonant atonal passages, all combined with an eerie dark, mysterious mix. It is experimental music and it broke through to the masses. It has all of the elements that made Rhoads’ playing special.

The whole song is like a Randy Rhoads master class. Stand out sections is the whole intro section up to the first verse, and the heavy distorted riff before the dissonant solo break.

This is what Bob Daisley had to say on the song in an interview with the Classic Rock Revisited website;

“I really wrote that one about myself. When I was 16 I had my first nervous breakdown and it really fucked me up. I was a sensitive kid and I have always been a sensitive person. I suppose you have to be sensitive being in the arts. I wrote the words about myself. Quite often we have problems and we are our own worst enemies and that is why “Enemies fill up the pages one by one in the diary. Are they me?” I am my own worst enemy.”

Bob Daisley also mentioned the following in relation to the composition of the “Diary Of A Madman” album pm the same Classic Rock Revisited website.

“We just worked five days a week, all day. Randy had riffs that he was working on. For Diary Of A Madman it was Lee, Randy and myself. A lot of times Ozzy wasn’t there as he either had hangovers or he was off to see his family. Lee came up with several of the vocal melodies for that album. I know he came up with the vocal melody for “Flying High Again.” He used to have a microphone at the side of his drums and he would sing while we put the songs together. The other thing was that Randy had the rough idea for the song “Diary Of A Madman” and I came up with title. I wrote all of the lyrics as well on the album. Ozzy would come and go from rehearsals. One day he came in and we played him “Diary Of A Madm an” and because it had funny timing he couldn’t get his head around. He said, “Who the fuck do you think I am? Frank Zappa!” We said, “You sing in this part but you don’t sing here. This timing goes like this ect.” He started to like it when he got his head around but at first he was like, “This is not for me.”

There you have it, my top ten Randy Rhoads riffs with Ozzy.

http://www.bravewords.com/features/1000971

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/bob-daisley-would-the-real-ozzy-osbourne-please-stand-up/

http://www.classicrockrevisited.com/Bob%20Daisley%20Interview.htm

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