Music, My Stories, Stupidity

The Aftermath Of A Relationship Breakup is Denial, Secrecy and Facades

This is the situation.

A person I know quite well is separated from her husband. Big deal right. Everyone separates these days.

That same person hasn’t said anything to me about the separation, still carrying on like everything is the same, even when she has moved back in with her parents.

That same person’s brother is a good friend of mine and I see him at work every day and communicate over email more or less every day and he hasn’t said anything about the separation either, carrying on like everything is normal.

Is there behaviour normal?

It’s like you are dealing with the old Cold War KGB when it comes to this family. It’s like dealing with the Communist propaganda of “look how mighty our country is when in fact the people are starving”.

Maybe they think I will judge the actions of what happened.

The truth is I knew about the marriage being in trouble a while back, when stories started to circulate that a lady and a man got caught having a tryst in the disabled toilets of the company they work and due to a breach of conduct they got their employments terminated immediately and escorted out of the building that same day.

That happened about 9 months ago.

Then when I asked my friend if his sister was still working, he told me that she resigned from her job because she had enough of the crap.

Sounds like denial. Sounds like Commie propaganda to me.

Then months went by and the few times I was out for drinks I would see her husband flirting and getting really close with other females. Big deal right. So I was thinking of bringing the subject up with her, but then i said fuck it. She made her bed, she can lay in it. If she wanted my say, she would have been more honest about her situation.

Then it was silent on the battlefront for a while. Maybe they tried to work it out and move on.

Then about three weeks ago more stories started to circulate.

“She ran away with her boyfriend, leaving her husband and kids” is the story that came out from her husband’s side.

“He was cheating on her for six years and she had had enough. Since they have two kids, she stayed for them, but it got to a stage where she couldn’t handle it anymore” is the story that came out from her parent’s side.

Still, no actual words from her or her brother to me about the actual version of events. The following quote came into my head;

“The reason I called it Aftermath of the Lowdown is because when you give somebody the lowdown, that’s the truth. And when you tell somebody the truth, there’s an aftermath to it.”

Richie Sambora said the above in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine.

And it certainly rings true in this matter. Let’s say that both stories are true.

The lowdown is that her husband cheated on her and then she revenge cheated on him. The aftermath is the break up and the work that goes into rebuilding lives, as two children are also affected. Then you have the aspect of denial in front of people they know, pretending that nothing has happened and that they are still alpha and omega.

In the end, life is too busy for people to really care about facades. Break ups in 2014 are plentiful. Hell they have been plentiful since the last 30 years.

So why all the secrecy.


The Crazy Lifestyles of the Rockers and Metallers

The rock and metal music world that I love so much has had its fair share of controversies recently.

The most recent, is finding out that Jeff Hanneman’s liver failed due to alcohol related cirrhosis.  With so much focus on the flesh-eating bacteria, everyone forgot Jeff’s love of the demon alcohol. 

We all have those little demons that can either gives us the edge or destroy us.   Ozzy Osbourne has been battling them his whole life.  Nikki Sixx has gone to war with them and it looks like at the moment he has come out on top.  Robb Flynn from Machine Head has been more than open with his alcohol battles and depression.  Steven Adler the original GNR drummer is back in rehab.  Anthony Kiedis, Slash, Kurt Cobain, Duff and the lists just go on and on.  

Randy Rhoads battled his whole life to become famous and when he got it, he wanted to walk away from it.  It didn’t satisfy him, the touring, the bus trips and the hotel rooms.  Randy found solace in his instrument, others find solace in drugs and alcohol.  Surrounded by enablers and yes people, it’s very easy for people to get caught up in a culture that thrives on drugs and alcohol. 

Then you have the bad break up’s – Phil Anselmo still trying to reach out to Vinnie Paul with all that forgive and forget self-help mumbo jumbo.  To me it’s all just B.S.  My motto is to move on but never forget.  Let’s put the facts into context, if Pantera stayed together, Damageplan would not have been playing at the small crappy venue with terrible security, where Dimebag was killed. 

Bad break up number 2 – Geoff Tate and Todd LaTorre both operating as Queensryche.  They are further diminishing the great name of the band, with two incompetent releases.  What a dead set joke? 

Bad break up number 3 – Even though Jon Bon Jovi goes on to Ellen and says that Richie is still in the band and that he is just taking time out to deal with personal issues, it’s over.  The famed Bon Jovi Circle is broken.  Thanks Richie for writing some of the best songs, and I still think you got robbed by Jon for not getting a writing credit on Dry County.  The song was handed in by Jon at 4 minutes long, Richie made it a 9 minute epic however only Jon was listed as the songwriter.

Bad Break up number 4 – this one happened a while back, however it came back into the news a few weeks ago when the Breaking Benjamin band name was returned back to vocalist and main songwriter Benjamin Burnley.  This break up aired a lot of dirt, especially the recording contract type of dirt and the inner workings of a BAND AGREEMENT.    

On the other side of the spectrum, Tim Lambesis, the lead singer of As I Lay Dying, has just entered a not guilty plea for his alleged involvement in trying to hire a hit man to kill his estranged wife.  This one came from left field.  It was a WTF moment.  How stupid can someone be?  Has anyone seen how this dude looks.  I am sure he could have gotten any other chick.  I know it’s not a joke, but I couldn’t stop making comparisons to the Horrible Bosses movie.