Music, My Stories, Stupidity

The Aftermath Of A Relationship Breakup is Denial, Secrecy and Facades

This is the situation.

A person I know quite well is separated from her husband. Big deal right. Everyone separates these days.

That same person hasn’t said anything to me about the separation, still carrying on like everything is the same, even when she has moved back in with her parents.

That same person’s brother is a good friend of mine and I see him at work every day and communicate over email more or less every day and he hasn’t said anything about the separation either, carrying on like everything is normal.

Is there behaviour normal?

It’s like you are dealing with the old Cold War KGB when it comes to this family. It’s like dealing with the Communist propaganda of “look how mighty our country is when in fact the people are starving”.

Maybe they think I will judge the actions of what happened.

The truth is I knew about the marriage being in trouble a while back, when stories started to circulate that a lady and a man got caught having a tryst in the disabled toilets of the company they work and due to a breach of conduct they got their employments terminated immediately and escorted out of the building that same day.

That happened about 9 months ago.

Then when I asked my friend if his sister was still working, he told me that she resigned from her job because she had enough of the crap.

Sounds like denial. Sounds like Commie propaganda to me.

Then months went by and the few times I was out for drinks I would see her husband flirting and getting really close with other females. Big deal right. So I was thinking of bringing the subject up with her, but then i said fuck it. She made her bed, she can lay in it. If she wanted my say, she would have been more honest about her situation.

Then it was silent on the battlefront for a while. Maybe they tried to work it out and move on.

Then about three weeks ago more stories started to circulate.

“She ran away with her boyfriend, leaving her husband and kids” is the story that came out from her husband’s side.

“He was cheating on her for six years and she had had enough. Since they have two kids, she stayed for them, but it got to a stage where she couldn’t handle it anymore” is the story that came out from her parent’s side.

Still, no actual words from her or her brother to me about the actual version of events. The following quote came into my head;

“The reason I called it Aftermath of the Lowdown is because when you give somebody the lowdown, that’s the truth. And when you tell somebody the truth, there’s an aftermath to it.”

Richie Sambora said the above in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine.

And it certainly rings true in this matter. Let’s say that both stories are true.

The lowdown is that her husband cheated on her and then she revenge cheated on him. The aftermath is the break up and the work that goes into rebuilding lives, as two children are also affected. Then you have the aspect of denial in front of people they know, pretending that nothing has happened and that they are still alpha and omega.

In the end, life is too busy for people to really care about facades. Break ups in 2014 are plentiful. Hell they have been plentiful since the last 30 years.

So why all the secrecy.


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