Classic Song To Be Discovered
Disciple – Draw The Line

This is a song that I could have written. It more or less reflects on a certain point in my life.

It’s actually written by Kevin Young (Disciple), Seth Mosley (Me In Motion) and Ben Glover (Christian version of Desmond Child) and it appeared on the 2012 album, O God Save Us All by Disciple.

Another crash, another fall, another failure
Another choice I don’t want to remember
Been here too many times
Every day is another fight

This is what I wasn’t prepared for. That the choices I made, can either turn out great, or end up in pain and tears. It’s hard to look back at certain choices and the events that followed afterwards and realise that the blame rests with me. I have made a lot of mistakes and as painful as it is to own them, there was no way I could move forward. There was no one left to blame except me.

I’m at war with the person I could be
Give me a chance and I’ll mess up a good thing

How true? I know what I should do, I know who I should be, however I try to be someone I am not. I have a good thing, in children that love me, a wife that loves me, so why do I make choices that hurts them and me. As I got older, I realised all of this and I was lucky that all the good things in my life stuck around. They could have easily walked away and I would have been left with nothing.

This is where I draw the line
This is where the old me dies
Light a match, let it burn, kiss it goodbye
Give it up, what I was, this is where I draw the line

This is it. That point in time, when I pulled up the handbrake, walked out of the car and left the old me behind. I realised that I had slipped so far from what I have known and I needed to do whatever it takes to get back to those good things in my life.

Another battle I lost fighting solo
How many times must I learn what I already know
Can’t do this on my own
Wasn’t meant to fight alone

I always believed that my problems are my problems and that I needed to solve them on my own. It must be a male thing. People are always there, however I always ignored their views. I was always right and no one else could tell me any different. It took me a long time to realise that I don’t have to do this all on my own. People want to listen, people want to help, I just had to let them. Again, the choice was down to me.

So I’m lifting my hands in surrender
Take my thoughts and my flaws and make me better

I am human. I have made mistakes. I needed to learn from my flaws and make myself a better person. I needed to take my thoughts of revenge, injustice and hate and use those feelings to make me a better person.

Revenge for the betrayal and backstabbing would not give me satisfaction. Revenge for the corporate funded injustice would not give me satisfaction. There was no need to hold on to those feelings. Time has a funning way of making things work out. Some call it Karma, I call it ‘living by the choices we make.’

Let’s put it this way, from when I walked away from that part of life back in September 2010, I have gone from strength to strength. The other people that where in my life at that time, have dragged themselves even further below. They burned the musical house that I created to the ground, they burned whatever relationships they had to the ground by constantly running away from responsibility, fabricating stories and blaming others when it all goes bad.

I am happy to say that I am living by the choices I made.